Our Fear of Snakes

Day 17

I had a snake dream that morning…

I’m living somewhere in what feels like a temporary arrangement. When I return to my rooms, a young man has moved in and he tells me he’s packed up all my things and I’m to move out. I’m angry, even if this was a temporary setting. He has already set himself up in the front room. It feels like an apartment. As I talk with him, I see a strange snake on the floor, almost ragged, as though it was two snakes, not just one, and its colour was white and yellow. The man is somewhat ambivalent about the snake but I want it killed. He rather weakly hacks at it while it is on the bed, not enough to kill it by chopping off its head. I urge him on, aware of the strange bulges out the side of the snake throughout its body. It has a curiously flat appearance instead of round. Then when I put on a pair of pants, while still standing in the room, there are several small white wriggling snakes moving about in my pants around my hips. I realize these were in the process of being born from the larger snake.

I could scarcely wait to drop into the meditation, sensing Snake and I would explore the dream together, yet I checked my enthusiasm to avoid projecting and directing our visit. After I cleared the snow, Snake drew me down with him into the waters and indicated this was the realm of the dream-time, where we could be together and the richer understanding of and immersion into dreams could evolve. My wish was about to be granted! I knew Snake was going to guide me in this realm.

What unfolded was a series of messages, more conversational on his part than before, and I came out of the meditation to do automatic writing at one point, not wanting to lose the specific tone and wording of his message. Until this time, his ‘speech’ has been cryptic, his way of instruction more through sensate experience than words. I was grateful for both ways of communicating; throughout the meditation I felt very emotional, close to tears.

During the entire time, we swam slowly and leisurely through the muddy waters, as he conveyed his message to me. Then it was over. Silence, and his presence dissipated.

‘Have I not been kindly, coming to you in many dreams throughout your life? I did not abandon you. I kept inviting you to this place, the dream-time. Gather your many dreams of me and you will see more. Now we are in a deeper, more realized way of meeting. We know and understand this repugnance in a way that you can scarcely grasp yet, but you will through these meetings. Do not be ashamed of your reaction to kill; it is buried deep in the psyche of humankind. It stems from fear of another wisdom that cannot be controlled. False gods have been erected as a substitute to hold the artificial world in place. This is your reality as humankind and we understand. We do not hold you personally responsible for your reaction in this dream. We meet at the edge of a new dream, one where honouring and respect reside.’

In this meditation, I faced my automatic fear and repugnance of snake, my killer-energy and my shame, and brought this to Snake. The dream shows how increasingly thin the veil is between my waking consciousness, the lucid dreaming in the meditations, and the night dreams. They are bleeding through into one very embodied, and at times, quite emotional experience. I am also aware of how much I am changing day by day…

Then my attention was drawn to my swollen black and blue left hand from a recent fall on the ice. Three badly sprained fingers were bent completely backwards under the weight of my fall. I felt Snake’s nudge to let his healing energy into my hand. As I relaxed into this, a series of softly pulsing electric charges began coursing through my fingers. I saw a coil of white snakes in my palm, eating up the dark, stagnant blood. I felt a swimming sensation up my left arm through to the right side of my neck (very ropey and stiff) as though a conduit for a renewed flow of energy was being opened. Then, as my attention came back to my hand, I saw a whole group of snakes playfully flowing in a small waterfall over my wrist, smoothing the energy between my left wrist and hand.

When the healing meditation was complete, my awareness of the area, from neck to finger, felt more coherent and fluid than before, a sensation similar to the balanced state after a good acupuncture session.